Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
