so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
