Well apparently he's into motor boating.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
