Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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