You just made me feel so damn special
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
