I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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