Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
