i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
