i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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