I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
