This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
