we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
