Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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