My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
