Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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