when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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