a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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