Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
