Ambien. No doubt about it.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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