she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize