Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
