PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
