just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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