I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Randomize
