Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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