By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
