Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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