Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
