my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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