Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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