"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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