i jhust puked up my retainher.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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