i think my tv is drunk
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
