your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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