omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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