who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize