We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
