I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
