I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
