Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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