i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Randomize
