If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize