thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
