worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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