His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
this hospital has no fireball
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
