It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
did you just send me my own nude
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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