Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
