Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
