you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize