is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize