She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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