Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The adults are the big ones right?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
