she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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