eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
