if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
