THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
